Love Meter

Recipe for a Healthy Relationship

First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course (both sides count).

Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality? This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort. Read also our Love Pullution article.

Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while depending on how long you have to wait!

Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).

Honesty is also at the top of everyone's list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.

Building the Bond in your Relationship

Learn how to build the perfect bond from one of our relationship experts here.

A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests brought the two of you together as a couple, but the bond has not been set completely. Besides the fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or not the two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must if the two of you are going to build a lasting bond.

Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keep the bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partner's situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you need the back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up all the time) either.

It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.

You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.
Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.
Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.
Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it
Having many things in common
Accepting one another for who we are
Listening to us and considering our opinions important 

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner's wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.

Prescription for a Broken Heart

Love Advice from Love-Sessions Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves. You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with the right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again. The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have. Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling. Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied. Go out with your friends and family to help get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their normal pattern. Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a romantic relationship. How to live a happy and satisfied Life  A Client's Comment:" After reading an article, I felt more comfortable seeking advice and was glad that I did. My love-sessions counselor had great knowledge and gave me terrific advice!"- Susie Greenboom from CA. USA.  In each day that passes by, we stand by and witness how our lives are being lived without the full happiness and satisfaction we crave and need. Most people spend their time stressed out, worried and on a constant panic about what needs to be done for their futures, raising their children, wired up over work, school, along with everything else. Does this sound familiar? Well if it does, it is because so many people live with this style and pattern. When you can start living that fully happy and satisfied life? The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are. Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it losing a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day. Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to lose 10 pounds, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to losing the 10 pounds. In fact, you may give up losing weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.